(This story is from our archives of NextStep Magazine. The Magazine has since been renamed to AIC With You)

For nearly 40 years, Mr Moses Yao, who was born with cerebral palsy, a permanent movement disorder, was under the care of his devoted mother.

Their roles were reversed after she suffered a stroke in August 2013. Mr Yao, 42, became his mother’s main caregiver and had to look after her, just as she had done for him all his life.

The darkest days of his life

Mr Yao's mother had to stay in a hospital to recuperate following the stroke. The initial months were, as he says, the darkest days of his life.

“She is my rock, the one I depended on all my life. I remember thinking, what if I lose her? My whole world came crashing down, and I felt very alone.”

For 6 days a week, from noon till visiting hours were over, Mr Yao stayed by his mother's bedside at the hospital to keep the 74- year- old company.

Travelling there and back was extremely gruelling for him, as he moves around with the help of a walking aid.

Things are more stable now as his mother is recuperating well at home and Mr Yao’s family hired a maid to help them. His siblings also provide financial support and help him in any way they can.

Finding strengths and comfort

Mr Yao worked hard to ensure his mother can stay in their home,where she has her friends and the neighbours know her, and where she can be near him. But he also knew he needed to find respite from his care duties.

That was when he discovered Caregivers Connect, a community network for caregivers managed by AWWA Caregiver Service.

“You need someone to hold you when you are about to fall – and that is what Caregivers Connect does for me,” says Mr Yao. Caregivers Connect offers a slew of programmes for caregivers to practice self-care, widen their support networks, and stay connected with other caregivers.

This includes sessions where caregivers meet regularly to share their experiences and advice with each other.

Apart from joining Caregivers Connect, Mr Yao also attends the Caregiving Life Skills Training Series (CLSTS), workshops conducted by AWWA Caregiver Service.

CLSTS equips family caregivers with essential life skills and effective strategies to deal proactively with caregiving challenges. Mr Yao says caregivers in the support groups would talk about how their loved ones would get angry at them as they believe they were not cared for properly.

He continues, “We tap on one another’s experiences to find some answers to our problems. We learn from each other. In this way, we go through this journey together.”

Mr Yao has forged many firm friendships in this community of caregivers. He is so grateful to AWWA and Caregivers Connect that he helps to raise awareness about the group whenever he can through word of mouth.

“I want other caregivers to know that there is a place for them to turn to and depend on for support.”

Strong community support

The support Mr Yao receives makes it possible for him to care for his mother at home.

"My mother loves being in the community and in a familiar environment where she can be around her loved ones. We also have good neighbours who look out for us here.”

Mr Yao considers his experiences a blessing in disguise. “The family bond has definitely grown stronger. I never knew I could love my mum so much.”